Thursday, September 29, 2011

Morbid Meanderings

Death comes for us all
even at our birth — even at our birth,
death does but stand aside a little.
               ~ Robert Bolt, Sir Thomas More, Act II
Sometimes Often, I think about my impending death. No, I'm not ill (well, not in any kind of terminal way), but death is an inevitability, so it's always at the back of my mind.


It may be a slightly OCD thing.

When I had young children, completely dependent on me, I would sometimes obsess over what might happen to them if I suddenly collapsed, like Julia Roberts did in Steel Magnolias. The image of her wee toddler there wailing his little heart out traumatized me something awful.

I frequently contemplated making "in an emergency, please call" cards, just in case I died on the way to picking up a child from school. I never did that, but it was probably a manifestation of how burdened I felt by the responsibility of caring for my children.

Sometimes when I'm driving, I'll think, "What if I had a massive coronary right now? How would I manage to stop the car without killing anyone?"

And whenever I sign a document with a date on it, I fret if I accidentally put a future date on it: what if I die before the actual date? Then there would be an impossible document: either the date or the signature would be fraudulent! (For some reason, this does not bother me when it comes to post-dated cheques.) [Haha! Cheques! Who writes cheques anymore?]

Yes, death is a constant companion, and not in the good "live each day as if it were your last" kind of way.

So it will come as no surprise to you that when I saw this ad, I clicked.

'Cuz who wouldn't want a casket made by Trappist monks?!
Sadly, it looks like they don't deliver to Canada. But it's given me a new death-related thing to obsess about. Yay?


  1. My biggest worry, the over-thinker that I am, is that on my deathbed, instead of simply allowing myself to peacefully die, I'll be thinking the whole time "So I'm going to die now, aren't I? Should I say something meaningful? What if I say something meaningful and then I have to wait like two hours left before I die? Should I try to time something meaningful with the time I feel like I'm dying the most? I wonder when--" and then I'd die.

    I think it's very likely that I'd end up as a ghost, just because of my anxious and over-thinking spirit.

    Anyway, if you need someone in the U.S. to order you a Monk casket, I'm your man. And I live in Minneapolis, MN, so we're not too far. You can pay me in poutine.

  2. Haha! I've never thought of that. Now I have another thing to fret about. I actually have a brother who lives in Ohio, so I could ask him to deliver it for me, but thank you for the offer. (I wonder what Trappists trap?)

  3. Maybe too profound, but instead of saving the meaningful words for your deathbed, say them now! I plan to say on my deathbed, "The grail may be found in the castle of aaaaaaarg."

    I don't know what trappists trap, but they brew great beer.

  4. funny!! hahahahahahaha i'm in tears!


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