Think I'll go eat worms.

Nobody likes me.
Everybody hates me.
Think I'll go eat worms . . .

On July 27, I wanted to send a message to just my daughter Emily and her friend Laurel. For some idiotic reason, instead of just sending them a message, here's what I did. Under the status window, there is a little drop-down option to customize who can see your post.

Default setting is "Your friends."

I clicked that arrow and selected, "Customize," which opened this window.

I selected Emily and Laurel from my list of friends.

I saved the changes. I can't remember if I ever actually sent them the message I had drafted. I think I changed my mind.

What I didn't change was that little setting.

For weeks after this, no one commented on my status updates or links or blog posts, except Emily or people I had tagged in my posts. Because those few people were commenting occasionally, and because comments that I made on others' posts or photos also received replies, I just thought that most of my friends had [SOB] better things to do than comment on my posts.

I began to wonder if I had offended everyone. Or perhaps I was just . . . boring.

Then a sweet friend sent me an inbox message.

"Everything ok? You haven't been on FB in a while.

Love,

..."

I replied that I was fine and had been posting as much as usual. [Well, perhaps not quite as much.] She said she couldn't see anything.

When I got home that evening, I scoured my Facebook privacy settings. I sent screen captures to Facebook, thinking that I might somehow have been blocked.

It wasn't until my cursor happened to hover over the little setting at the bottom of the status window that I saw this.

Wait. What?
My posts were still only visible to Emily and Laurel!

D'oh! I hadn't realized that the setting under the status window was a global setting for every single post henceforward! It's kind of a cool idea. You could have a default setting of a small group of best buddies, but open it up more broadly for all your friends.

I changed my setting, and went back and changed it on every post where it was still customized. It went all the way back to July 27. I posted a "Let me know if you can see this" status and was swamped by a bunch of "welcome back" messages. It warmed the cockles of my heart, I tell you.

In the end, I learned a few things.

1. I like Facebook. I enjoy the casual banter, the sharing of news, humour, and insights. I know that many people find it silly and superficial. But it's like many social exchanges - I've been to parties where the conversation bored the bejeebers out of me, and other parties where I really clicked with someone and wanted to spend more time together. You take a little water with the wine, so to speak.
2. Without responses, I felt as if I was on the fringes of a social clique. It was a weird feeling. Kind of like being in high school again, without the benefit of sag-free skin.
3. I don't think the social connection is as artificial or empty as many people disparage it to be. My friend was genuinely concerned for me and reached out to me even though we haven't actually seen each other in two years. It isn't a substitute for offline connection, but when distance prevents "real world" get-togethers, I think social media can help maintain connection. 

What do you think about social media, specifically Facebook? 

Spiders?

Every now and then I check out the statistics for this here blog, out of idle curiosity. I only have 10 followers (Yay! I'm into the double digits!), so it's not like I expect to find that I suddenly have thousands of visitors or anything.

I shared a previous review with you, where I marvelled at the number of visits I get from Russia. Well, they're still coming, though not in the droves they once were.

What I found most interesting in this review was the key words people used in searches that led them to my blog.

spiders in colorado

colorado spiders

writer spider

spider

nasty spider

spiders of ontario

yard spiders

dinner plate spider

nj spiders

wynnanne.blogspot.com

What is it with me and spiders? Seriously! I mean, my own blog URL ranked lower on the list than spiders. A total of 66 people came to my blog after searching for the first two combinations on that list.

I can only hope that all those searchers eventually found Kimberly Hosey's blog "Arizona Writer" where she shares her singular experience with black widow spiders. Here's a sneak preview;

Kimberly's self-portrait.

Remind me never to move to Arizona.

A Particularly Contemporary Dilemma

Nothing says "Internet Age" like the expression, "Pictures, or it didn't happen." That's because nowadays, it is highly improbably that anything of real significance will happen without being captured by a digital camera. Hence the retort to wild claims: show us the photographic evidence or we will not believe you.

And then, Osama Bin Laden was assassinated. With knee-jerk predictability, the hordes yelled, "Pix or it didn't happen!"

Thank heavens, the administration paused and thought better of it. Because, really, we don't need to see that. The pictures do, in fact, exist. I don't doubt that for a second.

And I can assure you that, if those pictures were released, sooner or later, you would see that. Here's how I know.

A little over a year ago, I attended a social-media "boot camp." Not much rigorous training went on, but we did have a captivating speaker who knew his way around social media the way I know my way around a bowl of ice cream. (I am a very skilled ice-cream eater.)

Anyway, the lecturer was whizzing along talking about how corporations have NO CONTROL over social media, that it is viral and that, once something is "out there" it is public domain and we cannot spin the message or, as the saying goes, "put it back in the box." Then he showed us the real, actual video of Saddam Hussein's execution. I was unprepared and shocked.

This is definitely not something I would have sought out.

The lecturer's point seemed to be that the video undermined the purported message of justice being carried out. (It looked like a snuff film, or what I would imagine a snuff film to look like.)

But what really struck me was that I was watching the taking of another human's life and I felt ... nothing. Really. I was horrified at the thought of watching something like this in a context of ... entertainment? It felt wrong. But I did not feel any empathy with the victim or with the witnesses or the executioner.

And that lack of empathy - with anyone involved - made me feel less human. Have I become so jaded by modern drama (like Inglourious Basterds or other Quentin Tarantino creations) that I can dissociate myself from this? Is that a good thing?

"Less human" may be the wrong expression. Maybe it is "too human" and "not godlike enough."

So, as I've listened to the calls for images of bin Laden's execution, I am pleased that the Obama administration has not released those images. We don't need them. They would put this event into the realm of entertainment, not history, where it belongs.

The world has no shortage of ugliness, of pain, or horror or of things that take something from our souls. Let's not clamour for more. On that note, I leave you with this verse:

"Finally, [fellow travelers on this sod] brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things."   ~ Philippians 4:8

Из России с любовью.

(That translates to, "From Russia with Love," and is pronounced, "Iz Rossii s lyubovʹyu." Yah. Didn't help me either.)

Russia? Really?

Reading web statistics for my blog is like having a video camera outside my front door: I can see how many people visited, how long they stayed, what they looked at. I don't take it very seriously because I'm not interested in increasing my audience; I do this because I enjoy it.

Still, there are occasional surprises.

Like yesterday. My blog experienced its highest volume of traffic ever: 88 pageviews. That's more than double what I get on a really good blog post. And 78 of them were from Russia. Which is odd. Steve thinks it may be an espionage tactic. Should I be worried?

Curiously, these statistics are not replicated in my Google Analytics account. There, I see NO visits from Russia, and no unusually high traffic. Isn't it odd?

One thing that hasn't changed is that the all-time most popular post is "Keep yer pants on!" about my embarrassing panty-hose crisis on the way to work one day. The cynic in me suspects that those hits come from people who google images of "girl panties off" saw the one I used and clicked through expecting something kind of raunchy. Sorry to disappoint. Well, not really. Go elsewhere, Uncle Creepy.

The next-most-popular post is the one I wrote about Katie and her octopus tentacle. That's the one with the Greek title, "Λατρεύω την κόρη μου." I have no idea why that would be popular. Perhaps having a Greek title doubled my audience? We'll see how my Russian traffic fares now that I have a Russian title, too.

Feeling excited about my career

For the past three days I've attended a Public Affairs workshop put on by NORAD and USNORTHCOM. The first day-and-a-half were interesting enough, but it's the last day-and-a-half that have really pumped me up.

Eric Schwartzman led all of us on a "Social Media Boot-Camp." I've learned so much! And I feel reinvigorated in my chosen career field of communication/public relations. This isn't the first workshop or webcast I've attended on the subject, but this is the first one that got into some of the nitty-gritty about how to make these tools really work. In fact, it's the Social Media Boot-Camp that inspired me to get off the fence and actually start writing this blog. (I'm still not sure where this blog is going or whether anyone other than myself will read it, but at least I made a move.)

One message came through loud and clear, and that is the importance of being authentic when using social media. What that means is that if your stuff looks or sounds too much like a polished PR product (without adding any real value or content) or ignores an issue that is a hot topic on the Web, you are dead in the water: your credibility is in the toilet. I believe this applies to all our PR/corporate communications activities. People sense when they're being lied to or when the message doesn't jibe with reality.

He also drove home the point that these are social media -- they are about social exchange, back-and-forth, dialogue. That's why some corporate blogs (ones that are clearly written by the PR or marketing department) fall so flat: they are impersonal, cold, too packaged, and they don't have any give-and-take.

One less prominent point he made is one that I've felt strongly about for a long time, and that is that your internal audience is perhaps your most important one. They are the subject-matter experts who can be quick to debunk misinformation about your company -- if they are empowered to do so. And they are a far more credible source than your "official spokesperson" will ever be.

All in all, the session left me feeling pumped as I haven't felt in a long, long time. Visit his blog at http://www.spinfluencer.com/

On a personal note, Steve spent the day at a briefing concerning our move back to Canada - all the things we need to do before we leave. Can't wait to hear his debrief!