Sunday, October 2, 2011

Well, I never!

A few weeks ago, my niece, Diane, shared her list of ten things you would never catch her doing. I've mulled over that myself, since then. Here's my list.

1. Going Vegan
I like my red meat far too much for that. And even if I gave up red meat, I'd still want meat in some form or other. And even if I had to give up meat altogether, I don't think I could ever cut out eggs and dairy. I've tried veggie burgers and found them ... icky. If I'm going to eat vegetarian food, I prefer real vegetarian like dal soup, not soy-dressed-up-as meat.

2. Roughing It
I am all about comfort. I like soft chairs and running water. I don't mind cottage life, so long as it has those two things. But camping? Too many bugs and not enough clean.

3. Getting Up Early (If I Don't Have To)
I love to sleep, especially in the mornings and at nap time. I don't like going to bed early, usually, but I've changed my habits lately and am keeping more normal hours. Except when I am engrossed in a really good book that I just can't put down. [See list item number 10.]
I have lost track of how many times I've used this picture. 

4. Getting Too Close to the Edge
You'll never get a picture of me doing this:
You could possibly find me out there at gunpoint or something, but I would absolutely not be relaxing and enjoying the sunshine. In fact, part of me hopes that picture was photoshopped because even witnessing it gives me anxiety hives. To this item, you could also add bungee jumping and parachuting. Never, ever, ever going to happen. (If I die that way, you may safely assume I have been murdered.)

5. Travelling the World Alone
I'm not even all that big on travel, period, though I delight in the beautiful and interesting things I see and experience when I do travel. But I always MUCH prefer these experiences when someone is with me.
Glass-art installation, Miami Florida 2006 by Dale Chihuly 
I would never have seen that whimsical boat full of joy if I hadn't gone on a business trip in 2006. We had an extra couple of hours at the end of our last day, and one of my colleagues suggested we visit the botanical gardens. If I'd been alone, I probably wouldn't have known about the gardens and I would likely have considered it too much bother to go. Sad, isn't it?

6. Sleeping Naked
Maybe it comes of growing up in a big family and then having four children, but I have tried sleeping naked, and it just doesn't work. It just feels too risky and exposed.
[No picture for this one. You're welcome.]

7. Adding Pepper or Hot Sauce to My Food
I think I have the taste buds of a newborn. Gimme sweet and bland, with a few subtle flavours - even garlic and onion, but forget about the hot stuff.
I keep pepper and hot sauce in the house for those who like them.

8. Typing the Word "House" Correctly the First Time
It invariably comes out "hosue." Why can't my fingers learn this correctly?
[Can you tell I'm kind of struggling to come up with ten "nevers"?]

9. With My Socks Pulled to Different Heights, My Table Set Incorrectly, or Any Number of Other Annoying Asymmetries or Incorrectnesses
[Incorrectnesses is so a word!] Call me "anal-retentive," or diagnose me with OCD. Whatever the reason, there are some things I just. Can't. Let. Go. I would rather go sock-less than have wonky socks. If the table is set incorrectly, I WILL correct it, even in a restaurant. I have conceded arguments about which side the butter plate goes on, grudgingly and only because I was taking the high road. These things all give me a feeling of ease and rightness. [Also, possibly, righteousness, but I try not to be arrogant.]

A place for everything and everything in its place.
That'll do, Pig; that'll do.

10. Without a Book on the Go
I honestly can't recall the last time I didn't have a book on the go. I love to read fiction, and am always on the lookout for recommended reading. With my Kindle, to which I am addicted, I can download samples of books suggested by friends or critics, so I always have a stockpile of potential books. And if I finish reading at one in the morning? No problem: the Kindle store is always open, and my book is downloaded in seconds.

Currently reading Still Alice by Lisa Genova,
a captivating story written from the perspective of a woman
with early-onset Alzheimer's disease.

So what are the ten things that you will never ...

1 comment:

  1. You're never hear me even ATTEMPT to pronounce "bourgeoise."

    That's all I have.



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