Too Soon

K.B. in high school

I have a stomach ache. Not because of any bugs or food gone bad. My stomach is roiling because I just learned that my dear friend, K.B., died in the wee hours of this morning, January 9, 2014. Her death was sudden and shocking, from an extremely rare allergic reaction.

UPDATE: It may not have been an allergic reaction. 

Last spring I shared with you that I was delighted to attend K.B.'s wedding. In her fiftieth year, she was in love and full of optimism about the future. She'd found a soul mate in Chris who understood her passions.

Back in July 2012, she had sent me an e-mail before her first kinda-sorta date with Chris - a weekday lunch with a group of people, but the one that had her heart racing was Chris.

"Do we ever stop being 17?" she wrote. "Why 17? Because I’m so nervous I’m nauseous. And just thinking about it I’m blushing. AT 49!!! It’s just lunch! And thank heaven, too, given the state I appear to be in."

She was beautiful, wasn't she? She always had been.

K.B., me, my cousin Ruth

She was fearless, witty, sharp as a tack, and so very, very generous and kind. In high school, when she slept over at my house, we sometimes snuck out to Tim Horton's for donuts. We double-dated and played endless hours of Euchre.

I have to elaborate on the "generous" adjective. Generosity is one of my deepest values and K.B. knew how to give like no one else I've known. And I don't mean in big, flashy ways. Her best gifts were rarely expensive (as a single mom, she watched every dime), but were always surprising. One time, in late winter, when it felt like the sun had abandoned us forever, she gave me a styrofoam cup in which she had sprouted some tiny blades of grass: spring is coming.

She even gave (well shared) her [other best] friend with me. After K.B.'s wedding Bronwyn (who blogs over at I, Mayb)  and I connected over social media through a shared interest in writing and humour.

I originally titled this post "Proudly Flying Her Freak Flag" because she was one of those people who was brave and saucy about doing things just a little differently.

Yup. Barefoot. At her wedding. At first I thought she didn't like her shoes or her feet were sore, but, no. She just wanted to be barefoot. And why not? She had adorable tiny feet.

That same quirky and wonderful spirit passed to her daughter. As a wedding gift, she gave the happy couple a star. How amazing is that?

I'm going to share a few more of the pictures I took at her wedding, the last time I saw her.

K.B. with her son Alec and her daughter Maddy

K.B. and her husband Chris, and his two children

K.B.'s sister Susan and their father, Mr. Sterling (I can't bring myself to even type his first name.)

That picture is heartbreaking because two important people are not in it: K.B.'s mother, Joan, who died of Parkinson's, and her brother, Cullen, who died in his teens, of cancer.

But this is my favourite picture of that day, possibly even of all time.

Just a little girl, basking in her daddy's love.

Goodbye, K.B. I miss you already.