Gimp

Help! I've been wooooooounded!
Gosh, my feet are so pretty!

Last night, in vengeance for all the electronic devices I have damaged, my Kindle and iPad joined forces to attack me.

As Steve and I stripped our bed, the two devices leapt off my bedside table in a Kamikaze-esque swan dive, landing corner-first upon my unsuspecting foot. (I didn't see it happen; I just felt the results. But I'm going to claim that both devices attacked me because you can't prove otherwise.) I swore a blue streak but finished the job, then hobbled downstairs to play on the computer do something productive. As I sat there with my foot raised, I noticed an odd sensation.

Not quite a throb. Not a sting. More like . . . the skin on my foot was stretching, like it was about to give birth to an alien life form, as if my foot were some sort of pod extremity. It was only then that I removed my sock and stared at the blue lump rising victoriously to claim the terrain.

Of course, I immediately posted a picture to Facebook. (How, otherwise, would I get sympathy? Stephen had already gone to sleep and was not present to call the WAHmbulance!) Then I asked Emily to help me get ice and a tensor bandage on it.

I iced/compressed it overnight. But by mid-morning it was looking worse (see photo above, number two in the series of sympathetic-ouch-inducing pictures posted to Facebook). I also I began to receive anecdotal horror stories of people who had broken bones in their feet and had walked on them for days/weeks/months and done irreparable/chronic damage.

So I called my doctor. (Yay! I have my very own doctor!)

An hour or so after I saw the doctor, the technician who took the x-ray told me I could leave. She had said she would send me right back to my doctor if she saw anything dramatic, even though she is not a radiologist. (The radiologist will look at it tomorrow.)

So I went back to work, still scuffling and hobbling, but reassured that at least nothing major had happened.

But you KNOW that I'd been hoping for a dramatic x-ray. Of course I was! I mean, this is by far the most dramatic bruise I've ever had, but broken bones trump bruises in any game of Pity Me. I mean, how can I limp around the house and office because of a BRUISE? What kind of wimp does that make me?

Anyway. I'm back home now with ice and a tensor bandage.

Ahhhh. That's better.