Monday, August 27, 2012

Bringing out the passive-aggressive monster in me

Update: the culprit finally called. She was defensive, of course, but agreed to stop keeping her personal items in the restroom. I wussed out and asked our admin to carry the bag of tampons over to the woman's office so she and I still don't know what the other looks like. (I suspect she's the same woman who occasionally does her hair and make-up in the bathroom instead of the shower-bathroom-locker room in the basement. Frankly, I don't care if she lives in her car; if I catch her washing her armpits or shaving her legs, I will draw the line.)

Last week, I walked into the bathroom at work.
 A very stylish place, actually.
(I do wish they had a bench suitable for naps.)
I noticed a garish box on the corner of the counter. I took a closer look.
The note says, "Please do not remove."
Excuse me?

What makes you so goll-darn special that you get to keep your personal supplies in the shared restroom?

Every woman who has ever menstruated knows the joy of trying to discreetly tote sanitary products into the bathroom. In fact, the manufacturers have come up with all sorts of packaging to make it easier. Attractive little plastic containers, quilted pouches, tins with funky prints.

They're all quite silly, really, because the things fit into a pocket or purse with no trouble at all.

The box, on the other hand, is an eyesore. And it is STILL THERE. Also, she evidently has a very long menstrual cycle. There is no "Free to a Good Home" sign on it, so I assume the woman who stashed them intends to keep these to herself.

Today I talked with a female colleague about The Box, and she was as ticked off as I was. We tried to think of what to do. We came up with these:

  • Take the box and use or give them to whoever wants them.
  • Leave a passive-aggressive note on the box asking the woman to please keep her personal supplies in her purse or desk.
  • Hold the tampons hostage.
I prefer the last option and plan to bring a Ziploc bag to work tomorrow and replace the tampons with a sort of ransom note saying only, "Please call 613-nnn-nnnn." (I seriously debated prefacing it with "If you ever want to see your tampons again," but decided not to. She might not take me seriously.

If she calls me, I'll ask her either to get an attractive, dark-brown basket and enough supplies to share or to keep her stuff in her own personal space. 
I would not object to this basket. Only $13 here.
Is that too much to ask? Well? IS IT? I don't think so. 


  1. We always have bathroom drama at work. It just cracks me up. (In our case, we have a few drawers in which to keep limited personal items.)

  2. I would leave a note saying that i'd say it in person if I had any idea who was leaving them but as I don't...please, unidentified person, keep these in your desk or your purse. Everyone else does. Kabes

  3. Our warehouse/property man sent a email to all in the corporate office (100 people) saying there was a used tampon wrapped up and left on the toilet tank since yesterday and would the lady please return to the washroom and throw it out. No one did. I figure the person meant to do it at the time but had set it aside to fix their outfit. Distracted, forgot. Wouldn't someone just cover it with a paper towel and throw it out and chalk it up as a really good deed for sisterhood. I'm sure the night cleaners come across this more often than we realize.

  4. Martha, that is gross. And I agree with your take on that one. But . . . Gross.


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