Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Hair Wars: Accidentally Annointed

I once learned a valuable tip from my mother-in-law when I asked her how she kept her skin so youthful. She told me that, no, she didn't use any expensive products, but she does use baby oil every time she takes a bath.

Now, if I had started following this path earlier in life (particularly when we lived in desiccating Colorado!) my skin might be something to write home about.

I have dry skin. Skin so dry that I actually get eyebrow dandruff. Attractive, eh?

So I've started using baby oil.

At first, I applied it topically after a shower, but that made a terrible mess and provided uneven coverage.

Then I discovered that if I sprinkled the baby oil over a full bath, then immersed myself, I would arise from the steaming water evenly bedewed like (a short, middle-aged, slightly overweight) Venus rising from the sea.

Of course this approach does require some sequential work, to wit:
1. Wash hair
2. Rinse hair
3. Put hair in pony tail
4. Sprinkle baby oil
5. Immerse in water, read book, sip wine, ignore kids banging on the door

Easy enough. But on Sunday night, I got the order wrong and dunked my head under the oil-strewn water. I still had shampoo in my hair, so I hoped it would turn out okay.

Nope. I woke up Monday morning looking like a European from the Middle Ages.

But by then it was MORNING, which is not intended for the use of Wynn Annes, so I applied so-called dry shampoo (which is ghastly stuff), styled it and made do. Monday night I was lazy and optimistic. Tuesday morning poked my nose in it.

So tonight, I set about removing the excess oil. As I lathered, rinsed, and repeated, I considered that what I really wanted was dish soap, as a friend recommended ("Looke, Madge, it works on ducks caught in oil spills! You're soaking in it!"), but I was already in the tub. (Have I mentioned "lazy.")

Now I lie here (note to Steve: I do not *lay* here), scented and, I hope, annointed in all the right places and grease-free in the others.

Hygiene is so complicated.

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