Thankful Thursday: Looking Back

My 100 Happy Days board on Pinterest.

It's been many months since I wrote a Thankful Thursday post, partly because last fall I was simply not feeling terribly thankful. But that does not mean that I have not practiced gratitude on a daily basis. In fact, since the losses of Scooter and especially of my friend K.B., making a conscious effort to recognize the joy and beauty in my life has been important and fruitful.

Another Beautiful Bride

My friend, K.B., whom I've mentioned previously.

That is a picture of my high-school best friend, K.B

[Not that I really have another best friend now. I mean, I have friends, but . . . I wonder if the whole "best friend" thing kind of loses its currency as we get older. Or has my continual migration from one city, province, or country to another made that difficult for me? Oh, this line of thinking is almost too sad to continue.]

K.B. is short for [redacted], which NO ONE calls her. Except, perhaps, her dad and sister. Back in high school, we often called her Killer Bunny, after the rabbit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail (though she was nothing like that evil rodent).


K.B. and I knew each other during those blistering years of high school when we feel both immortal and rawly vulnerable. She showed up in my Functions & Relations class with an enthusiasm for Math that dumbfounded me. It was, I learned, an enthusiasm for knowledge - she was, and is, eager to learn anything about anything. She's also someone who "waves her freak flag" with gusto.

Over the ensuing couple of years, we became almost inseparable. I slept over at her house about half the time, avoiding the emotional difficulties at my home. Meanwhile, her family was suffering the excruciating loss of her brother, Cullen (or "Cully"), who died too young of Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia, and her mother who died more slowly of Parkinson's Disease.

Can you even imagine the pain?

And yet, she, indeed her entire family, welcomed me, embraced me. I had a permanent seat at their dinner table. K.B. and I shared clothes like sisters (though that blue blouse she's wearing in that picture looked WORLDS better on her than it ever did on me). Cully called me from the hospital where he lay dying. I was with the family as they buried their beloved mother. To this day, I wish I had known both Cully and Mrs. Sterling before they were ill.

K.B. and I have lived geographically separate lives, but have stayed in touch, especially with the gift of e-mail and social media. (Many scoff at the "fake" nature of social-media relationships, but I have found that social media has served to strengthen many friendships and has, conversely, made me ponder why I ever considered so-and-so a friend at all.)

Well, last weekend, I had the great joy of attending K.B.'s wedding to Chris. It is a second marriage for each of them, so they went into it with eyes wide open and hearts grateful for this surprise of love. I wish I'd been able to get to know Chris better.

But I do know that they fit. In the quirky, accepting, supportive ways that matter.

Enough. Here are some pictures I took before and during their wedding and reception.

This was taken at the unofficial rehearsal dinner.
What started out as dinner for three turned into dinner for five, then dinner for six
 then . . . aw, heck. Let's just all get together. 

The new blended family.
That's Mr. Sterling at the "head" of the table. K.B.'s sister is to his right (our left).
(I won't name anyone else as I do not have their permission, but please feel free to download and use your pictures.)

K.B.'s daughter gave the couple a STAR! In Ursa Major! That's the kind of mother K.B. is.

The wedding day dawned sunny and warm.

The wedding palette.

K.B. is not a fussy, girly-girl, but she did allow for some pampering on this occasion.

The flowers were so, so beautiful.

The bride and her maids laughing at a YouTube video while getting ready.

She came down the aisle and made her vows barefoot.
Because, if you know anything about K.B., you know that you ought to expect the unexpected.
(Chris claims he absolutely did not notice.)

There was a fair bit of laughter at this ceremony, but it was absolutely earnest as well.

Yes, she loves him.

Yes, yes indeed she does.

Another little bit of the unexpected.

There are many more pictures, of course, but I will share them with K.B. and Chris, who are still on their honeymoon before I post them anywhere.

I'm so glad we are friends. I'm so glad I was there - and that K.B. and her family were there for me.

Well THAT was close!

I staged this pic, but this is
where the wallet was.
Without the flash from the camera,
it was almost invisible.

On Tuesday evening as I unlocked my car door after work, I glanced down and saw my wallet lying on the dirty, wet concrete floor. It had lain there all day, after evidently falling out of my purse when I got out of the car in the morning, my hands full.

The wallet was soggy and dirty, but untouched. Credit cards, identification, all were in their usual pockets.

I thanked my lucky stars as I contemplated the tedious task of replacing the contents. 

I've been through the hassle three times before, once when my purse was "picked" while I was a student with a measly $20 to my name visiting Versailles (the summer I was a missionary in France). (It occurs to me that mentioning the trip to Versailles really undermines the idea that it was a mission, but we really did work hard.) 

Fortunately, our "foster parents" for the summer had only given us a small amount of the cash we had deposited with them. (They also kept all the passports in a safe.) But that lost $20 was hard for me to swallow. My Social Insurance Number was also in the wallet. I know better than to carry that around with me now.

No Better Place to Be

It's Valentine's Day, and Steve is on the other side of the country.

It wouldn't be so bad, but I've had a bit of a rough week. Just a bunch of unpleasant little things (like unplanned renovations, a sinus infection, an ant infestation (there were four dead or dying ants in my bathroom just now), or technical difficulties) that culminated in my taking a hot "pity" bath along with a glass of wine and a bucket of tears the other evening. I really wanted Steve to be here, to spoon with.

I'm sure one of the kids would've been happy to give me a hug, but it's not the same. And it's not what I wanted.

So I sent Steve an e-mail saying that I realllly wanted a hug. He replied almost immediately, with words of comfort, and I felt a little better.

A few minutes later (Just after I knocked over a full liqueur glass of Sambucca! Could this week get any worse? Seriously!), Brian came upstairs, handed me a red envelope, and said, "Here. This is from Dad."

Turns out that, as soon as he received my plaintive e-mail, Steve had texted Brian and told him where to find the Valentine's card and to bring it upstairs to me. No point in waiting for a special day when he knew I needed to feel loved RIGHT NOW.

As I opened the card, I told Brian that he should take lessons from his dad when it comes to love.

"Oh, I have," he affirmed. "I have."

Good. At least one other person on the planet stands a chance of being as blessed as I am.

Thankful Thursday: Looking for a silver lining

Last fall I decided to do some at-home laptop repairs. In the end, it bought me about six more months of using that old laptop, and saved me a bunch of money. The parts I ordered cost about $100 -- that's less than the labour charges I would have paid if I'd taken it to a geek. Yay!

Unfortunately, there was a hidden cost: one of the two vendors I used sold my contact information to a spam generator.

78 spam messages
in LESS THAN 12 hours!

Un-freaking-believable.

I realize it's all going into the Junk folder, but I worry that a stray non-junk e-mail will be thrown out with the bathwater. (For some odd reason, e-mails from Steve frequently get diverted to the junk folder.)

I already had two alternative e-mail addresses, so I've been gradually changing all of my subscriptions and logins over to my new preferred address. I'll keep this spam-magnet one for a while, in case people who contact me only infrequently still use it.

In the meantime, I am genuinely thankful for spam filters. Sad that such things have to exist, but glad that someone has put time and effort into automatically sifting the wheat from the chaff, so I, for the most part, don't have to. That is today's silver lining.

If only they could do the same for my snail mail.

Thankful Thursday: Growing

They grow up so fast!

For the past several Saturday mornings, Steve and I have been learning how to be better parents.

You might think (those of you with young children) that the hard work of parenting is over. I sure thought it would be.

You - and I - would be wrong.

I really thought that loving my children would be enough, that my instincts, prayers, and good intentions would see me through. But I've come to realize that (a) my instincts often misfire, (b) my prayers too often come in moments of desperation, and (c) my good intentions fly out the window when my feelings are hurt or when I'm afraid.

But I've also learned there are actual skills to parenting. And skills can be learned.

So we are learning about mindfulness, about being effective, rather than right.

So this week, I am thankful for the course we found, for the children who have been my guinea pigs, and for the husband who is beside me on this roller coaster.

Thankful Thursday: Baby, it's cold outside!

Emily sitting before the fire, braiding a bracelet.

Holy frijoles, it is COLD outside! As in -30º C/-20º F cold. "Wear snowpants to the bus stop" kind of cold.

So it's particularly nice to come home to a roaring fire and the inviting scent of wood burning. The warmth of the living room has even drawn the older kids away from the chillier sunroom and into the room where Steve and I usually lounge.

We're chatting and sharing updates. It's like something out of Little House on the Prairie! Next thing you know, we'll be playing Backgammon!

We're enjoying the warmth in more ways than one.